Jesus Christ, is it that time of year again?!! I haven’t saved a fucking dime!! Pardon my language, but if you haven’t read my “Welcome Assholes” page than get on it click here . If you would like to skip it, no problem. I am a construction worker so there’s going to be lots of swearing. So if your mormon or Jahova and your gonna be offended than get the fuck out!!
Anyway were almost at the end of the year and those layoff papers are coming soon! Shitting your pants yet men? Because Christmas is just around that whore of a corner, and if you have some birthdays before that whore, well….. your fucked!! Pray you have a little something saved back or maybe even your wife did without you knowing. Maybe you have a vacation pay you haven’t touched………..wait……NOPE!! Wife needed a new dining set recently. HOLY FUCK!! WHAT DO YOU DO?!! Here’s what I do. As soon as I get that ROE (Record of Employment for you dumb fucks). I get my ass to that embarrassment line!! Sorry, the unemployment line. Lets face it though, it is an embarrassing line. You know everyone walking by, that’s not there for the same reason is saying ” Those pour mother fuckers”. This year I learned that if it was e-filed, you can do the report from home unless you don’t have a computer. Than you have to go to that fuckin embarrassing office again. HaHa!! I’m fucking with you!! If your gonna take me personally visit this site here.
So now your done filing for unemployment. YOUR UNEMPLOYED MOTHER FUCKER!! Join the fucking club!! Get comfy cause it could be 2 weeks, 2 month’s or even 4 to 5 month’s. If your waiting for a call longer than that you might wanna consider a different career you ain’t getting called back you lazy fuck (coming soon “The Dog Fucker”).
Anyway I know were used to a certain kind of income, but there’s a difference between not being able to feed your kids pour and not being able to take that next vacation pour. YOUR ON VACATION FUCKER!! Do the things you never had time to do when your putting in those 50 to 80hrs of work a week in that scorching heat or the blistering cold. GOD DAMN, it’s a lose lose for us! It’s our time! Enjoy it! Lets face it, we make anywhere between 50 to 100k a yr we should be able to live life well. Even when were off, but our problem is we over spend on bullshit. I’m guilty 100%. Work always dry’s up at some point in time. Save a little! If your kids are starving well good luck. Sell there Ipads or xbox cause its tough looking for construction work through winter month’s. I’ve been in tough situations in the past, but I’m still here. Don’t get me wrong I been sitting at home for a few weeks now and it’s tough when you can’t justify buying a chocolate bar at the dollar store.
Before I wrap this up I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read my first blog post. I hope it makes you laugh, smile or it’s even the best part of your day. If that’s the case you need to get laid mother fucker! I’m gonna leave you with “MY BENEFITS OF BEING LAID OFF AND HOME ALONE”.
1.) Singing – nothing like belting out and singing your favourite Justin Beiber jam or whatever the fuck you like. WHAT?!! You don’t like Beiber? To fucking bad, I do and I sing, and sing as load as I want. Don’t care if I’m bad. I’m home alone asshole.
2.) Playing an Instrument – NOT YOUR DICK!! We will get to that soon, but a real instrument like the guitar or piano maybe even the sax. I took up the acoustic and nothing soothes that diaper of a brain filled with shit like playing a little bit of music with your hands.
3.) Honey Do List – YES!! We all get this one. Things the wife wants us to do for them. Love when it’s renovations. FUCK ME!! Doesn’t sound like much of a benefit, but hey “Happy wife happy life” Nothing rhymes with happy husband. Benefit might be the blow job you get that night
4.) Video Games – I’m almost 40, but I’m still a kid at heart. Nothing wrong with playing a little bit of Call of Duty or the old classics like Super Mario. Fuck what everyone else thinks. I rather be a kid and happy than a miserable old fuck.
5.) Masturbating – FUCKING RIGHT!! I look foward to this shit sometimes. We all want that warm wet pussy or mouth, but lets face it with both you and your wife tired all the time with our everyday stresses and our bullshit job, sex is far from in between. But when your off work, she’s still tired……………but your not. Lets grab that favourite lube and throw on some lesbian porn or whatever the fuck you freaks are into and tare 1, 2 or even 3 off!! Who am I kidding I’m getting old I’m good with one.
That’s it for now brothers!! Catch you assholes on my next post! Stay Safe!
Don’t forget to follow me using one of the social media buttons!